Being Selective With Your Friends

Church singles groups, when they do have them, typically seem to be filled with some non-desirable people.   I’m not sure why this is, I guess it stems from a couple things.

First off, if you are over 30 and single, there is probably something just inherently wrong with you.  Either your divorced, which may or may not be your fault, or you are weird, ugly, fat, poor, smelly, whatever.   Creepers

Second, it seems like in most larger social groups, the datable people pair off fairly quickly, maybe within a year or two, or leave since there are no prospects in the group.   So what remains are those that can’t find anything else.

Ultimately it ends up being a group of weird, creepy people, which then can’t attract new interesting people. This analysis isn’t scientific, just something seen by observation.

The bigger question is, as a Christian, what kind of social group should you put yourself in.   Should you surround yourself with just the cool kids, or should you reach out to those less fortunate?   Christ preached extensively on loving your fellow man, ministering to the “least of these” and yet he surrounded himself with a hand picked group of his best buddies.

The Bible talks often of choosing your company wisely.

Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

So, what does a singles group look like?  What should it’s goal be?  Does it make sense to try and minister to single people?  Can a group exist that doesn’t devolve down to social misfits?  Is there a better way to get Christian people married so they fit into a group?

Part of the problem is most other ministries in the Church are segregated by sex.  This kinda makes sense.   Mingling men and women does tend to increase the chances for hanky panky and when most of your people are married, this gets really ugly fast, but makes it tough for singles to engage with other singles.

The problem and the social dynamics are interesting.  Can an environment be created that moves people through from being single to being married, while continually bringing in new people and keeping things interesting, with minimal drama?

I would love to hear your comments and ideas.

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