How to Know If She’s Interested

One of the biggest things I think most guys struggle with is evaluating a woman’s level of interest in you.   The last thing most of us want to do is make a woman uncomfortable and try to make some kind of move on her that’s unwanted.

But… there’s a problem with this.  It’s pretty much impossible to know.   Women aren’t consistent with their Indicators of Interest, so it’s tough to evaluate – and there is good reason for this, but there are a few things you can observe to help keep yourself out of trouble.

There are three types of women out there that you will encounter.

How to Know  She Isn’t Interested

I find that this is the easiest thing to evaluate – the women that are completely uninterested in you.    Here are a few things to look for:

• Referring to you as a friend
  If she gives you a tight hug and says “It was nice to see you friend”, you are out.  She is NOT interested.
• She sets boundaries
  I’ve seen this a few times.  A woman that doesn’t like you will only take things so far.  She might flirt a little, or be really friendly, but there comes a point where she stops responding and it’s a cold stop.   She gets aloof and cold.  Pay attention to this, and don’t confuse it with mixed signals – they aren’t the same thing.  Usually, they will still be friendly, but just distance themselves.
• She touches you a lot
  This can also be confusing.  Touching is a very flirty thing, but if she’s always hugging you, touching you, whatever, she probably just sees you as a friend and is comfortable with you.  Notice if she does this with everyone if that’s the case she’s just a touchy person.   Don’t regard it as an indicator of interest.
• She texts you a lot
  Again, there are exceptions, and some very forward girls will text you, but if she’s just talking your ear off all day, she probably is just a friend, and maybe a gossip.
• She runs away
  If she actively leaves the area you are consistently, you probably creep her out.  Don’t follow her around and be weird.
• She’s more interested in her phone than she is you
  If she would rather be playing with her phone than talking to you, she’s not that into you.

How to Know She’s Interested

The second type you will run into is the girl that is PLAINLY interested.   Here are some signs that she’s really, clearly into you.

• She touches you
  This is the girl that doesn’t touch people, but will brush your arm, touch your shoulder when you laugh, punch you in the arm, etc…   Look for differences in the way she treats others and those subtle touches.
• She gets nervous around you
  Again, distinguish this from creepy behavior.  If she will talk to you and then just runs away.   If she seems like she likes you but won’t make eye contact.  She’s TOTALLY into you.
• She texts you
  In my experience, this type of girl will text you and ask all about you.  Conversation might be awkward, stilted, short.  Until you are actually dating she probably won’t harass you nonstop, but she might send you a quick text saying how good it was to see you, or whatever.
• She asks you to do stuff
  She will invite you to do things, or give you some opportunity to jump in on something she’s doing.  “I’m going to X tomorrow, you should come” Often this will be by text too, so if she texts you and then mentions something, she’s probably into you.
• She’s really interested in your life
  Your job, your family, whatever random thing you are doing interests her.   If you are a sports fan, she will pretend to be too, just to hang out with you.

These girls are typically obvious, and will usually go anywhere, do anything you suggest.

They are also typically less interesting than this last type.  This behavior can just reek of desperation and guys like desperation less than girls do, so often we just keep these girls around to stroke our egos – but be careful.  If you flirt too much with a girl that’s really into you it will be bad.

She MIGHT be Interested in You

This last category is the really hard one, and probably where the majority of women you meet will fall into.  Where it’s really hard to know if she’s interested or not.

• She won’t text you, but will respond (or sometimes not respond)
  High-quality women, or nervous women, in my experience, will never initiate texts and won’t just chat with you over text for long periods.   Sometimes they won’t respond for hours, days, or not at all.   This is a really weird thing because it feels like it’s disinterest, but it isn’t always.   It’s hard to figure out.
• She stares at you
  Nervousness is often and Indicator of Interest (IOI), but the girl that flat out stares you down can be hard to understand.   It’s a strong signal of attraction, but sometimes those girls won’t respond.
• She’s hot and cold
  Sometimes she will seem very friendly and interested, the next time she will ignore you.   This can be tricky, maybe she’s just insecure and likes the attention, maybe it’s a different group of people around the next time, maybe she’s playing hard to get, it’s impossible to know.
• She talks to you
  As a general rule, if a girl will talk to you in person, she probably doesn’t dislike you.   Again, this doesn’t always go both ways.  Look to see if this behavior is different from others if she talks more when you are alone together and watch for topics of conversation.  If she gets nervous as the conversation gets deeper that probably means she is wanting to open up but not sure if she can trust you.

These are really the girls you want to invest in and pursue.  They are usually high quality and are going to be more selective because of their standards.